The Culture of Rutgers Prep According to an Alien Invasion on Food

            We have finally arrived on planet Zorlaxia after 12 long fluorons. Our space ship landed on top of a bustling building full of Zorlaxians. After camouflaging myself and engaging in a conversation with a few of them, I learned that I was in a place called Rutgers Preparatory School, and that the ‘humans’ used these schools to educate their young. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to study their kind. Many humans were heading off to an occasion called ‘lunch’, where they all gather and consume food. I will follow them and attempt to learn as much as I can.

            The cafeteria, or the building where the humans hold lunch, is full of human food. Apparently, this is a good day for lunch, as the cafeteria has something called ‘burgers’. After waiting some time in line, I picked up a plate and proceeded to be served a burger, and customized it with an assortment of what I recognized were vegetables and sauces. I also saw some golden fried starch sticks being served, along with noodles covered in sauces, called ‘pasta’.

            After analyzing the burger through my atomizer, I have come to the conclusion that these humans do a thorough job in providing nutrition to their young. Although I was not satisfied with simply consuming one burger, the burger did provide plenty of proteins, carbohydrates, and even some minerals to help the growth of the humans. Zorlaxia might be hard to conquer after all if the inhabitants are nourished like this every day.

However, as I quickly noticed, not every human enforces a healthy diet. Further analysis revealed that many, if not most, of them consumed sugary beverages in the form of carbonated drinks, which were harmful to the human body composition, and even had a machine of some sort in a building called the gym which was dedicated to serving out unhealthy foods in exchange for green rectangles. Also the humans must have felt unsatisfied with their meals, as they were only given 300 fidgets, or 30 minutes in human time, to eat lunch daily. Although they may seem substantially nourished, these humans may be easy to conquer after all if they are all like the humans from Rutgers Preparatory School..